


when we're worried about you

by connorsmarkus (neganstonguething)



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Drabble, Implied Romance, M/M, PTSD, Prompt Fic, connor tries to paint, just mentioned it's nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 10:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neganstonguething/pseuds/connorsmarkus
Summary: literally that was the most awful title i have ever given a work.anyway, i'm posting this here because my tumblr layout makes the actual fic hard to read behind a cut.a very close friend of mine requested a drabble where connor paints a picture for markus when he's feeling down, and this is what came of it. there's some minor ptsd mention, but no actual flashbacks or graphic moments having to do with it. in all honesty, this was meant to be pure fluff.enjoy!





	when we're worried about you

**Author's Note:**

> i'd already done most of my editing for this on tumblr, and even though i'm about 95 percent certain i've got it okay on here, i didn't exactly spend much time working on formatting here. sorry if it's all boogered up!

_**post-trau·mat·ic stress dis·or·der** _

>  
> 
> _noun_
> 
> _a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world.  
> _
> 
>  

They all have it. Hank has it. Ever since the death of his son, he has had it. Connor diagnosed it the instant he learned about everything that happened.

It’s normally used to describe a mental condition in humans, but Connor sees it in androids, too. Be it from years upon years of abuse by humans who only saw them as machines, or from the carnage that ensued when Connor had led the humans to Jericho. Be it from the gunfire that erupted into the crowd of marching androids protesting for freedom, or the chaos that had followed a very violent final rebellion, androids from all walks of life suffered.

Perhaps it’s more telling of the humanity in androids that they too endure the disorder.

Simon and Josh have organized group therapy sessions for these androids. North and Connor are both regular participants. North sometimes talks about what happened before she found Jericho, and sometimes she doesn’t. Mostly, she talks about an android of her same model that got shot down during the Cyberlife store break-ins. Connor listens most times. Sometimes, he talks, but he still feels he hasn’t earned the right to, and the situation with Amanda is far too complicated for even him to process fully. Maybe one day.

Simon and Josh share, and they listen and encourage everyone in their group to join in. Solidarity is key. It always has been. 

Markus has PTSD, too. Connor knows that there are nights when he relives the death of the human who he had cared for. He knows there are nights when the memory of what he had cost Jericho haunts him so fiercely that the guilt affects his stress levels and turns him into a recluse. Connor knows that there are nights when Markus actively weeps over the lives he watched get taken away throughout the course of the protests and the rebellion. He knows that Markus relives a harrowing reboot experience in an android trash heap regularly. 

But Markus doesn’t attend these sessions. He’s too busy. Meetings and press conferences and restoration efforts keep him occupied during most days. Simon and Josh have offered night sessions, but Markus refuses. 

Often times, he resigns himself to Carl’s old home, which now belongs to Leo. Leo has set aside the studio for him. The two aren’t on great terms, but this seems as good a truce as any.

Markus has spent entire nights there, hiding away in the studio, painting or observing or simply existing in the room until the sun comes up. Androids don’t suffer things like exhaustion. Sure, their energy supply can run low, but an android can operate autonomously for longer than the lives of humans. 

But Markus looks tired a lot more lately. He hides a lot more lately. He needs something–anything–to remind him that his people care about him. That his pain is just as important as theirs. 

Connor is far too analytical to hatch the plan he’s putting into motion. The inspiration honestly comes from North and Josh and Simon. Following a group therapy session, the four had sat together and discussed Markus and his situation. A very busy person with very little time to spend with friends, let alone himself, is a little hard to find time to comfort, but if anyone can do it, it’s Connor.

The thing is, Markus  _knows_  he has Josh and Simon and North. It’s been made clear to Connor that he has confided in them a rare few times following the revolution. But Connor is a whole other facet to the situation. Connor is the deviant hunter turned deviant who Markus may or may not be developing feelings for, and Connor’s detail-oriented mind has already come to the conclusion that he feels the same way. 

According to Josh, North, and Simon, it’s time for Connor to show him he cares in a way that only he can. 

Connor is not a romantic being. He doesn’t fantasize about sunsets and hand-holding and the perfect first kiss. He doesn’t dream of long-lasting relationships and families and being  _in love_. That in mind, big emotional, romantic gestures that could potentially sweep Markus off his feet aren’t something Connor has any viable experience with. He can research and bookmark and study novels and movies and articles about experiences all he wants, but in the end, he’s clueless, and also quite unoriginal.

Which is where Markus’ closest friends come in. 

And it’s also why Connor has attempted painting, himself. He wasn’t sold on the idea at first, but after recalling a story Markus told him about Carl asking him to paint, he knows it’s a good idea. He knows that if anyone’s going to understand the moral of the gesture, it’ll be Markus.

Connor is an android. With the right software, he could easily paint a masterpiece. But Markus doesn’t. Markus paints straight from the heart, so Connor tries it too. 

He’s not good at it at all. He’s too obsessed with details. First, he doesn’t like the way the colors blend on the canvas, and he restarts a good handful of times before he gets more than a few brush strokes onto the surface. He scans and analyzes the contents of the paints, searching for the exact measurements of mixing he needs to do or the precise amount of pressure he needs to apply when painting. He toils away in a New Jericho conference room until he’s covered in paint and still staring at a bunch of blobs that he hasn’t yet decided what to make of. 

He’s supposed to sneak this work into the studio and be there waiting for Markus, but he’s gotten way too hung up on getting it just right that he’s taken way longer than the time he had intended to take. Markus is probably already at the studio by now.

“Connor…?”

Or well, his normal schedule would have put him there, but instead, he seems to choose this precise moment to bring himself into the very conference room Connor is in.

He wheels around, LED spinning red, and then yellow, and then back to blue. Brown eyes gape across the room at the doorway, where Markus stands, his jacket folded over his arm, sporting a button-up and dark gray slacks. He looks the very picture of perfect, and those feelings Connor has long-since acknowledged resurface with a vengeance.

“Markus–” Connor lowers his palette and paintbrush to the nearby table and glances down at his own paint-smeared clothes. Embarrassment sends his LED spiraling yellow again. “I thought you’d be at the studio.”

“No…” Markus shakes his head slowly. “North told me you needed to speak to me…she sent me here.”

In that moment, Connor realizes he’s been had. The plan he had thought he had come up with with the others has never been the plan all along. And Connor is more easily understanding of hard facts than intuition, but he’s got the sneaking feeling that the reason they’d left this part out is because they’d known he’d get wrapped up in little details and Markus would find him in a very vulnerable state.

And if there’s one thing Connor has learned, it’s that painting makes him feel  _very_  vulnerable. Struggling and covered in paint, trying to draw out perfection from something he’s very imperfect at, Connor is at his rawest, and maybe that’s how Markus needs to see him.

He doesn’t like it one bit, but he can acknowledge it.

“I just…” Connor glances back at his own attempt at painting. The result is a smudged canvas, a very much unfinished work of art, and several failed attempts at painting propped up against a nearby wall on the ground. He’s the polar opposite of Markus in this very sense, and that’s when he realizes just what the message is that North and Josh and Simon had been trying to get him to convey.

So he steels himself and gestures to the painting with one open hand. “I’m not good at this. At all.” He’s watching Markus carefully as he speaks. “In fact, it’s opened my eyes a great deal to just how talented  _you_  are. But I thought I’d try it, and I can certainly see why it’s therapeutic to you.”

He watches Markus frown. He’s trying to process what Connor is getting at. He’s so expressive–probably learned that from his human. Or from months without an LED indicator. He’s utterly incredible. 

Connor keeps speaking. “But you don’t have to do it all alone. And I know you’ve heard that from everyone else, but I  _really_  need you to come talk with us, Markus.” He glances down, LED just now returning to blue. “Or if you don’t want to, you can talk to me. I’ll talk to you. Or I’ll help you out with work so that you can go sit with everyone else.”

“Connor–”

Connor shakes his head. “You’re strong, Markus. We all know that. But we also know you’re having a particularly hard time right now.”

Markus scoffs softly. “…So why the painting?”

Connor thinks that maybe he could come up with some big elaborate explanation and talk himself into circles until he got to the point, but he’s always been a more factual being. He just wants to get to the point faster. That in mind, he shakes his head again. “This was supposed to be some big, grand gesture. North and Simon and Josh helped me put it together. We just wanted you to know we were thinking about you.  _I_ just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. And that I’m here. I know I’ve got a lot of work to do before I can make up for what I did, but–”

“–Connor, stop talking.” Markus breaches the doorway and steps inside, moving to stand next to him. One glance over tells Connor that Markus is studying the painting on the canvas. Connor’s own stress level jumps a good ten percent at the sight. 

Markus cocks his head, raising a hand to his chin as he analyzes the paint on the canvas. 

And then, he laughs. Gaze still locked on the painting, he speaks up. “I get the feeling this isn’t your calling. You don’t seem to be enjoying it.”

Connor wants to take offense, but he knows Markus is right. He also knows that Markus doesn’t mean it as an insult. “No, I’m not. Not even a little.”

“But you do other things so masterfully that you don’t  _need_  this.”

Connor turns his attention back to his painting as Markus keeps speaking.

“Carl always told me that art doesn’t just exist in brush strokes on a canvas. It’s everywhere. And talent isn’t just your ability to create a visual. That’s something you’ve proven to me. Look at all you’ve done ever since you joined us. Your beauty and your talent and your skill comes in the form of tact. You’re insanely clever. You know when and when not to act. I adore that about you.”

Connor blinks, returning his focus to Markus, who raises a hand up and places it on the small of his back.

“I was planning on coming to tomorrow’s meeting. You guys are absolutely right.” He shrugs there. “I haven’t been ignoring you, I promise. I know you all mean well. So yeah, of course I’ll go.”

Connor can’t help but smile there, and Markus moves to mirror the smile.

“It’d be nice if you came with me.”


End file.
